Текст песни «Ten-Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins» от Tim Minchin

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Tim Minchin - "Ten-Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins"

Lyrics to Ten-Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins :

So youre gonna live in Paradise, 

With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins.

So youre gonna live in Paradise,

With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins,

So youre gonna sacrifice your life

For a ride on a UFO,

And when the Lord comes down with his shimmering chariot of salvation,

Youre gonna be the first to know.



And so if...

God was there from the very beginning

He invented men and women,

Then He also invented wanking, 

Then He said wanking was sinning.

So if Im feeling randy

Im not allowed to hand-shandy,

But having sex with my family,

That is just fucking great.

Its all there in Ezekial 8,

Just before He opens up His big pearly gate,

And says that its a sin

To take it up the date,

Even if its great,

Even with your mate.



So youre gonna live in Paradise,

With a ten-foot cock and few hundred virgins,

So youre gonna sacrifice your life

For a shot at the greener grass,

And when the Lord comes down

With his shimmering rod of judgement,

Hes gonna kick my heathen arse.



So if you...

Cover the bodies of your women

Everybody is grinning,

Because black is so slimming,

Though its not great for swimming.

But it gives me an erection,

With the increased sexual tension,

What with the U.V. protection

That is second to none.

Youll find it all in the Quran

Just next to the bit that justifies guns,

And says that its a sin

To take it up the bum, 

Even if its fun,

Even in the scrum.



So youre gonna live in Paradise

With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins,

So youre gonna sacrifice your life

For a shot at eternity,

And when the Lord comes down

And I havent done my penance,

Hes gonna disembowel me.



You say that...

If I...

Stumbled on a watch Id assume it had a watchmaker,

That a muffin presupposes a baker,

So you must agree sooner or later, 

That this proves that theres a creator.

So if I put my foot in a stinker,

Youd assume the existence of a sphincter,

Thus you dont need to be a great thinker

To coclude that Gods a bum,

Which negates the words of Genesis 1

Which made Him out to be so much fun,

Until Adam succumbed

To temptation,

And then His only son

Got nailed to a gum,

Or the Middle-Eastern equivalent,

Which suggests that Gods omniscience

Is nullified by His ambivilance,

Unless it turns out that Hes impotent,

And if God cant get a boner,

I guess that explains the plethora

Of huge erections in His honour -

Because we all know a steeples just a subconscious compensatory manifestation of a huge stiff penis -

Still He tells us that its heinous

To stick a penis up your anus,

Even if youre famous,

Even if youre good at tennis.



So youre gonna live in Paradise

Witha ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins,

So youre gonna sacrifice your life

For a ride on a UFO,

And when the Lord comes downwith his big stiff rod of justice,

Im gonna be the first to go, 

Hes gonna send me down below,

Hes gonna whip me like a cotton-pickin negro,

Im gonna be the first to go.


[ Ten-Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins Lyrics  ]

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